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Sep
20

HOW TO GET RICH IN THREE DAYS!

 

 

Last week I received the email below. Usually something like this goes straight to my trash file. This one I opened.

 

 

 

From:       Syed <bodez1z@gmail.com>

Subject: ~Wire Transfer[ETT]~SECTRET MESSAGE*

Date:         September 11, 2012 5:25:29 AM PDT

To:             Irving Podolsky <irving.podolsky@earthlink.net>__

Would you help me receive 10millionpounds from a dead man’s account?

AGREEMENT

COST AND EXPENSES SHALL BE BORNE BY YOU AND ME.

I SHALL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE COST OF DOCUMENTS FOR CLAIM.

YOU WILL ACT AS A BENEFICIARY FOR THE FUNDS BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS SIMILAR TO THE BENEFICIARYS’.

YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO PROVIDE ID AND ADDRESS AND MY ID FOR CREATING A CLAIM DOCUMENTS BY MY SOLICITOR.

THE % SPLIT

I > 50

YOU > 40

SOLICITOR > 10

DO NOT WONDER HOW I GOT YOUR EMAIL I HAD TO BUY YOUR EMAIL IN PEOPLE’S LOOKUP BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS SIMILAR TO THE BENEFICIARY THAT IS SUPPOSED TO CLAIM THE FUNDS BUT HE IS DEAD.

**THIS IS SERIOUS**

PLEASE REPLY BACK NOW FOR MORE INFORMATION

*****

I got this scam just as you see it here. Have you ever responded to these things? I never have. This one I did.

*****

From:       Irving Podolsky <irving.podolsky@earthlink.net>

Subject: ~Wire Transfer[ETT]~SECTRET MESSAGE*

Date:        September 11, 2012 2:12:209 AM PDT

To:            Syed <bodez1z@gmail.com>________________

Dear Syed,

The Lord has answered my prayers! (My god, not yours.)

I just didn’t know how I was going to keep my house, find a job and pay my wife’s hospital bills, which put me into bankruptcy! (She died anyway.)

So now I’m in therapy and I can’t afford that either and I was thinking of suicide, until your Heaven-sent email showed up in my spam folder.

I’m so glad I didn’t flush it, ‘cause now I won’t need a job and I can keep my house and feed the hamster.

I have a little money saved, just a little from my wife’s insurance policy. I was going to use it for the move into an apartment but now I guess I’ll need it for the expenses you talk about. How much is it? I can’t afford much.

Sincerely yours,

Irv Podolsky

*****

The next day my new friend and savior wrote me back a long letter. I’ve abridged it below.

*****

From:       Syed <bodez1z@gmail.com>

Subject: Fwd: Irving Podolsky

Date:       September 12, 2012 6:26:13 AM PDT

To:           Irving Podolsky <irving.podolsky@earthlink.net>

Dear Irving Podolsky,

I believe this has come a great opportunity to us being a richer in 3 days.

My name is Syed Abbas a bank manager of one bank here in United Arab Emirates. A man rushed into my bank last year and carried a cash into my office for saving immediately that he just had to; he failed to provide any beneficiary for this funds even when he is dead. Although he told me it is political money and their was a great conflict on the sharing of the money. I decided to open the account on waiting for all details to be completed until he came again he needed to move the money abroad year after which is Thursday 13/09/2012 to one company in Turkey who normally helped him receiving money. I found out the man was shot the following day and none of his colleague discovered the money is in my branch and also the one he asked me to write to claim the money died a natural death, aged 81 .

Since then I have been monitoring this funds and no one could be released this money unless I declare it unclaimed or I transfer the money out to the company he instructed me to send the money to. Today is the day I am supposed to send the money to the company. They will deduct 1% of the total money and send to you; in some circumstances, they may ask you some money before they deliver the funds to you because of what might come forward. I will as well use all my life time money do the affidavit document because the commissioner for oath will take nothing less than 0.050 of the total funds you could imagine what that could cost but yours won’t be so that way.

I have given them already your name and email address and I can assure you that you will encounter NO problem at all providing I am the one monitoring the account.

I have been a bank manager since 7 years without achieving and most of my colleagues have made so much money in luck of this type.

I am ready to give you 40% of this money and I can assure you that this money should get to you in 3 days and I will come over to you to have the 70%.

I will definitely need your full details and even any proof id. Please send the following information start with this transaction asap.

Fulname

HomeAddress

City

State/County

Country

Post/Zip Code

HomePhonenumber

MobilePhonenumber

Can you be trusted? Please convince me.

Are you capable of receiving this money?

COPY OF IDENTITY

Below I attach mine.

Please return back with the requested information as soon as possible.

Thanks,

Syed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*****

Oops! He wanted a copy of my identity. That’s a slight problem. I explained why.

 *****

From:       Irving Podolsky <irving.podolsky@earthlink.net>

Subject: Forward: Irving Podolsky

Date:       September 12, 2012 3:01:22 PM PDT

To:           Syed <bodez1z@gmail.com>________________

My dear friend, Syed!

You make me so happy that a great opportunity to us being a richer in 3 days! And I’m so sad that you’re a bank manager since 7 years without achieving. I know just how you feel. I’m a loser too.

So to change our lives I will give you all the information I have about myself. I assure you, I can be trusted, just as much as I trust you. I mean, identity theft wouldn’t cross your mind for a second, would it? I can see from your picture you are a kind and generous man. We were meant to be together.

Are you gay? I’m not, but I think I love you.

 

Now…let’s see…my identification…

Fulname: Irving H. Podolsky

HomeAddress: Gee, Syed, I don’t have one. You see… (and I’m quoting here) “Irving Podolsky resides in the mind of this writer and within the trilogy, Irv’s Odyssey.”

So I don’t actually have an address. But I have a concept of one. Here it is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lucky us! I have COPY OF IDENTITY!

Yeah, I know. It’s not a driver’s license but that’s okay because here in American, the land of the free, the home of the brave, many people drive without licenses and it all works out…for most of us. (Drivers in Arizona, who look like you, get pulled over so it’s safe for dudes like me.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Syed, I’m helping you out so you can be just like your buddies who have made so much money in luck of this type. So forget my phone numbers. Just send the cash. NOW!

And remember, although we’re pals, you’re dealing with a guy in the great US of A, the greatest and toughest kick-ass country on Earth. So no funny business.

Love & xoxoxo 🙂

Your pal, Irv

 

*****

Golly, seven days have passed and I’m still waiting for my forty million. I can’t imagine that my new friend wouldn’t come through after all I’ve done for him.

But in case he doesn’t, I’ve got friends in high places, like the FBI’s Internet Crime Complaint Center (http://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx).

If you see Syed, tell him Irv’s lookin’ for him.

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4 comments

  1. Les says:

    That’s FUNNY!!

    1. Irving H. Podolsky says:

      It IS funny. I didn’t change a word of his emails.

      I suspect that these phishing letters are computer generated and sent to thousands of random addresses, then computer scanned for specific information. Because I actually got a reply to the second email and “Syed” said he was still waiting for my REPLY. Would I send it as soon as possible.

      Ya know…computers just can’t take a joke!

      Irv

  2. Jerry's Cousin says:

    Funny story. It made me smile.
    I, too got one of these emails. I was selling a name brand purse on Ebay.I got an email from “Amid” in Fla. The story: His wife was seriously ill, recovering slowly in a hospital. She wanted a purse just like the one I was selling and he wanted to buy it to surprise her. All he had available to him was a $1,000.00 check. He would send me that check, I would deduct the amount of the purse, then wire him the remainder of the money. Well, I gave him my address and he did send me the check. He emailed me again and wanted the money wired to him within 24 hrs as he needed the money. Of course, I didn’t wire him the money. I took the check to my bank and requested that they check out the sender. Within hrs, my bank found out that it was a fraud ring that had been in trouble before, just changed their MO. So they turned it over to the bank fraud division. I never heard from “Amid” again. I wonder how his “sick wife” is doing?
    “They’re still lurking out there. Be careful folks – be very careful!

    1. Irving H. Podolsky says:

      Interesting… Never heard of that one before. Thanks for your story.

      Irv

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